cutewithoutthe-e

2003-08-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

Bye everyone. I dont want this blog anymore! I'm comming back to xanga!

Bye blogger...

You just didnt impress me as much as xanga! Any of you who linked me can still link me through here! Thanks for reading. I just cant take this place anymore!

2003-08-08T18:00:00.000-05:00

I don't know why. It's strange. But I feel alone. And in need of attention.

No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, it's just that all the people I care about, have other people closer to them, and I'm distant.

And I feel like I'm just in the way and uneeded. Severly.

Am I just going through something strange? Or is something trying to tell me something?

Like when I want to talk, that other person doesn't really talk to me or listen because they're involved with someone else or in something else.

And sometimes they dont even notice I'm gone or not talking.

I know it sounds pathetic, I'm so sorry. But a point of a blog is expressing your feelings. I dont want or mean to feel this way but I do. And it sucks because I didnt used to be like this. I dont know what's happened.

2003-08-07T11:50:00.000-05:00

Agggh!

I got back from orientation.

...I already know my first few weeks at my school is going to be hell. :-( It's so freaking confusing. A and B days? What the hell????

And I'm alone there. Yep. I know no one. Everyone knows everyone else. I'm the loser kid with no one. How exciting high school will be! *sarcasm*

And I already dont like alot of people there....
...I dont know...
I guess I just dont like them today because I'm tired and grumpy. I got 6 hours of sleep. But at least I got to talk to Austin and OH! I get to see him today! YAY! *snoopy dance* He makes everything so much better! :-) *wants a hug*....

Aww man. Trish told me the other night that she might be MOVING!!! :-\ awwww...
my best friend!....
gone...
:-(

TRISH DONT LEEAVE!

2003-08-06T20:42:00.000-05:00

I'm really nervous about orientation tomorrow :-(

I dont' know that school at all. And I'm forced to spend 4 freaking hours alone there? Great.
This is a bunch of bull sh*t because I hate being alone in new places!! Ugh!

:-( I'm all scared and stuff! I wish someone could come with me! I'm dreading this so bad. I wish it got cancelled or something!! *prays* save my soul!!!!!

2003-08-05T13:05:00.000-05:00

Ugh! I hate this!!!

I'm stuck here with my little brother Tyler. I HATE babysitting. I have NO patience! Especially for him. He's so freaking annoying. Especially when he thinks he's funny! >:-o!!

I'm currently checking my email to see if I have anymore link exchanges!

.....Nope, I guess not. Though this link exchange thing is great! :-D!

Please leave me some comments! Even if you're just stopping by to look at the place, please feel free to leave a comment! Thanks! :-) You'll make me feel special!

2003-08-04T16:20:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone!

I'm really happy because I got my first link exchange today!

mattminns.com!

Thank you Matt, Since I just got your email, your link is now up on my linked page!

And remember! For those of you who'd like the link exchange idea, just click "Link X-change" and fill out the form! And of course, don't forget to link me too :-D ;-)

2003-08-03T18:11:00.000-05:00

Hi all.
I was supposed to see my boyfriend, Austin, today. But I didn't get to because I was supposed to take my little brother Tyler with me but I had to open my big mouth and bitch about taking him so they left me at home and didn't take me. :-(
I don't like my parents very much. But when they came back I apologized.

You know...
I'm not always okay.
I feel neglected and unwanted and uneeded alot. Like an outsider. When my boyfriend was sad the other night, he never told me, and I found out from someone else. And by the time I got to ask him why he was sad, someone already had the opportunity to cheer him up. :-\

That was what really made me sad.

And today I was crying because my dad was being mean, and he called and I SWEAR you can tell I was crying, but he didn't ask if I was ok, he didn't try to cheer me up, or anything. But just the other night he was helping other girls with their problems. It's like everyone thinks there's never anything wrong with me. Or that Austin just doesn't care enough about me as much as his friends or something, I don't know.

When I try to cheer him up, he doesn't even get a little cheered up. But whenever some other chic tries to, he's SOO happy.

Why do I exsist? I'm just in the way

2003-08-02T23:29:00.000-05:00

I love the DIVA!

2003-08-02T00:09:00.000-05:00

Trish is my homie! Visit her site at
Miss Hive

Today went well :-) I haven't updated in awhile. Man, I gotta keep up!

2003-07-29T07:57:00.000-05:00

Austin called me and woke me up super early! Like @ 7:20am. We talked a little bit and then he hung up so I could get some sleep. But I couldn't! If you wake me up, I cant fall back asleep! So, I got on here, and he's online, so he I/Ms me then he said....

Austin: awww i was about to go back to sleep too!
Austin: lol
Theytookmysweatr: awww, you were?

lol, he is one of a kind.

2003-07-28T23:53:00.000-05:00

Nothing new going on. Not much to talk about. I'm really bored. I/M me or something. My AIM screen name is theytookmysweatr

I'm so friggen' bored!! I bought a pretty notebook today, though 8-D

Or send me an email! Artistintheambulance7@yahoo.com
Let's be friends!

2003-07-28T10:55:00.000-05:00

Hope you like the look! It features Alex is on fire! They're a really good hardcore-ish band. reminds me of Zao, Senses Fail and Thursday. Zao friggin' rocks! Check them out! I'm going to dye my hair! The color? I'm not sure yet. Ok, well, bye!

2003-07-26T18:13:00.000-05:00

You are Mary Bell. At the ripe old age of 10 you
strangled a neighbor boy, afterwhich you carved
your initals into his skin. At his funreal you
laughed. Your next victim was a 3 year old. You
pushed him off the roof, resulting in a broken
skull. After he was found you went to his
mothers house and asked to see him, she replied
tha t he was dead. You smiled brightly and said
'Oh, I know he's dead. I wanted to see him in
his coffin."
You horrid little girl you.
-smacks your hand-

Which Imfamous criminal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-26T12:56:00.000-05:00

I bought the new Thrice cd yesterday!

It's very good:-) They did a swell job! Good Job Dustin on the lyrics!

The art on the cd is really cool! The art and photos are from coldwarkids.com! That site is awesome, you should go check it out! So go buy the new CD NOW because it comes in a limited edition packaging with pictures, lyrics, and song notes. Soon it'll just be sold in a regular CD case! So hurry, hurry, hurry! I got mine for $8.99 at Warehouse Music! They're having a sale!

Reader Appreciation!
I love all of my readers! Even if I only have one! LOL! Thanks for reading and commenting! *hugs for all of you*

2003-07-25T10:04:00.000-05:00

Music- The Early November- I want to hear you sad
Mood- O.K.

Heyyy! It was pretty good after all! His mom was super nice! And it was great also because Austin and I cuddled! And Bob came with us. So it was extra fun! I loooove Austin. But I felt ugly yesterday:-\ LOL. I need new clothes. ohhh yeah! I'm getting new clothes, yay! I'm also getting this pretty messenger bag! prrreeeettyy! I'm getting it from Torrid.com

School starts on AUG 18TH :-( :-( :-(

Agggh~!

2003-07-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

Music: Thrice- Silouette
Mood: Nervous and iffy :-(

Today Austin's is supposed to come pick me up and we're going to a Romeo and Juliet play. :-( I'm nervous! And hismom is chaperoning. She's nice and all, but I'm a shy avoidant loser. I'm always worried I'm going to say something stupid or something. :-( He's not online, and he hasn't called. Maybe something's come up? Maybe we wont go after all?

See, the thing is, I DO wanna go, because I wanna see Austin
But I'm nervous about his mom. :-|

Im hoping everything goes smoothly. No one understands why and how I can be so shy and avoidant and, well...
distant.
*sigh*

2003-07-23T18:02:00.000-05:00

Austin: lol
Austin: damn
Austin: i really nee to see you babe
Parisxinxflames8: :-) awwww

I know it's probably stupid and mushy to you, but it makes me feel special when he talks to me like that! Here's the short song he wrote for me a while back that i said i'd show you!

i wrote this song about you
to express i love you too
i know the thing i put you through
turns this grey sky to blue

i know once you walk into my room
it will smell of your perfume
and if i ever forget to say it
remember i love you too
remember i love you to

this time its serious
im not just messing around
these times i could have missed
but im with you now

i never want this to change
it will always be the same
i will never leave you
i will never go away
and if i ever forget to say it
i love you too
i love you too

and nobody
i said nobody can take that away
and if you ever break my heart
release from your grasp
just please
please let me believe
that this was the best for me and i did it for you

(c) Austin Bullard!!!!!!!!

If you snatch anything from this song and use it without crediting him, we will burn you.

love is such a funny thing. I can hate and love Austin at the same time. Trust is something I'm working on with him. I'm beggining to trust in him again. It's taking awhile because trust is a hard thing to earn. And he broke my heart and lost my trust when he dumped me in January. Since we're back together now, it's alot more serious.

2003-07-22T20:02:00.000-05:00

Hey hey hey kids!

Like the new look? :-) I sure do. Because one reason....

-------CONOR OBERST! :-) :-) ------>

I'm going to order that pin! From pinparade.com!
I might go with Austin on Thursday to go see a play. Romeo & Juliet! This will be the first time
I go somewhere with his mom around. I'm SOOO freakin' nervous! I'm already shy and avoidant. I hope I can go and it wont be a catastrophy.

Oh! I was at pure-essence.net and came across madlibs!!! :-)

Here's some of the ones I did.

1.) Dear Marvo Hair Co.,

I paid you 25 dollars for a/an kitty transplant. I did everything you told me. I started by soaking my head every day in chemical-x and washed my hair with yoohoo. But now my eyebrow smells like body odor. I am suing because I am as bald as a/an Austin.

2.)Men! Is your hair turning purple? Is it getting a little tiny on top? If that's the case, then let our famous plastic bank teller use the lastest techniques to graft tiny follicles of boys to your scalp. No one can tell if your hair is shiny or not. And you will be very delighted to discover that you look little and women will say "PIE!!"

3.)Calling all cars ... Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Austin. He/she is wearing a/an tiny suit, a gray kitty, and carrying an old brown christmas tree. He/she was last seen in the vicinity of Thailand waving a loaded door. He/she is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner's sock. He/she is also accused of stealing a 1955 pie and a/an ugly pony. It is advisable to approach this person with tiny caution, as he/she has been known to carry a loaded bat. He/she uses the alias "Billy the shirt" and has been known to disguise himeself/herself as a/an keyboard. Watch out for this fuzzy criminal. That is all.

lol! Madlibs are great, I tell ya.

2003-07-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

Hey all.

I had a great weekend! I spent the night at Trish's place for her birthday. We had a blast! I swam :-)
I usually hate swimming because I hate my body, but since she has a pool I didn't have to worry about public eyes! We were supposed to see Spinal Tap! :-D But didn't have much time to. Well, notmuch else to say! Bye!

I've only been gone for one day, but I miss you. Do you even care?
I feel like you're slowly drifting away from me.
I feel like you're beginning to see how much better off you are without me.....

2003-07-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

BRAND NEW WAS SOO AWESOME LAST NIGHT!

Along with Senses Fail, Moneen, and The Beautiful Mistake!

I was with Austin! We were so happy to be with each other! And I saw someof my friends from school. I saw Jake and Marcial and other folks! It was SO freaking HOT! I was sweating outside! The doors opened at 7 but they only let a few amount of people at a time get in. So we got in around 9. It was stuffy and hot inside, too! Ugh! Austin and I were sweating BAD! But we still had a great time! He moshed, I didn't, lol. It was our 1 month anniversary! And we were soo happy! Senses Fail, ugh, I still can't get over how GREAT they were. :-) Austin dumped water on my head! :-P lol

Near the end of the show, We were holding each other, not caring how sweaty we were, and looking into each other's eyes. We are so in love. :-)

I ended up giving Marcial a ride. LOL! This is like to 50th time he's gotten a ride home from me! Haha! He's in alternative school. He has to repeat. *sigh* Poor him!

Austin's at the Vans Warped Tour! He's going to be there all day most likely! Rockin' his ass off! I love him:-) Being in love is so fun. Other people see us together and happy then all of a sudden hate us. Why? We're just in love with each other! :-\ People are mean. It's like being in love is looked down upon now-a-days or something. And people seeing other people happy pisses them off!

2003-07-17T17:01:00.000-05:00

Hey again all.

For those of you who know me, I know I went a little extreme with the "pinkness". :razz:

...I don't know. I just needed a good change. I saw it and it didn't look too shabby.

!Anticipation!

Brand New and Senses Fail play tomorrow night! @ The Door! I have a feeling that I'm not going to get in. :-
My sister was supposed to but tickets but she hasn't called or anything! BRAND NEW IS ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE BANDS EVER! I need to see them to live. *sigh*

Austin Bullard...... YOU BETTER GO TO THE WARPED TOUR!

2003-07-16T22:56:00.000-05:00

Hey all. Just finished talking to Austin! He wrote this really lovely short song for me. It was beautiful. It made all the terrible things he did to me just seem like they never happened! I'll post it up here A.S.A.P

It's on his profile and I shouldve copied and pasted it! Ok, not much going on. I'm getting back to school clothes! Can you believe it? If I were still going to a Dallas school, I'd be going back August twenty-something? And we got out on June like, 14th? And Garland got out like in May! And they go back August 18th. I'm going to a Garland school now. Naaman Forest. And I dont know ANYONE there. Grrrreat. And what if I get lost like a loser? Ugh. Great. I already can foretell it's going to be a bad, bad day.

2003-07-15T13:01:00.000-05:00

It's ok now. I've apologized to him for acting so childish. I really need to get a grip. I need to start trusting him, as hard as it may be. Because, a few months ago, when we were together the first time, I trusted him with all my heart, and all he did was betray me. So, of course it's going to take sometime. I have such a hard time trying to figure out love and why it's here.

2003-07-14T17:06:00.000-05:00

Agh. I feel terrible about the way I acted last night to Austin.

Ok, so, he told me that he flirts with other girls, but it doesnt mean anything and there's nothing wrong with it. I got really upset, and made a big deal out of it. I'm really mad at myself. :-\ I wish I could erase what happened. I probably made him mad and now he's probably avoiding me. :-( I want him to know how sorry I am. But he hasn't been online and I'm afraid to call.

*sigh* I hate myself.

[Listening to] Brand New- Failure by Design

2003-07-13T18:53:00.000-05:00

Hey again, all.

I'm back at my dad's house. I spent the weekend with my mother. I see her every other weekend. I really wish that I didn't agree to live with my dad. I hate it here. And I dislike him, alot. But, the damage is done, so I can't do anything. :-\ *sigh*

I worry, constantly. Don't they have prescriptions for that? It's like, every single second, I'm worrying about the worst. It gets really old and annoying to the point where I just want to step infront of a moving bus so this can all go away.

Gotta gun?

:-(

<3, Chloe

2003-07-12T18:25:00.000-05:00

:-)

2003-07-12T17:58:00.000-05:00

Yay! I love this layout, it's pretty. :-)

2003-07-12T15:49:00.000-05:00

Listening to: Punk Rock Strike Vol. 1- Amazing Transparent Man- Cheerleader

Thinking About: Lots of things. Lots and lots of worries. ...Lots.

Wishing: This here lap top was mine.

OOOOk. I'm here at my mom's house. Not fun. She's a very senile person and she hates my friends and I'm pretty sure she secretly hates me.
I love personality disorder tests. I take one every month to check my disorders and where they stand. My recent test concluded that my paranoia is moderate.
Before, it was high. Now, "Avoidant" and "Dependent" and "Borederline" are the "Very high" ones. You probably think now, "what a weird loser".

That's ok, I get that alot.

2003-07-11T11:21:00.000-05:00

Listening To: Northstar- Rigged and Ready

Eating: Nothing

Wising: Austin would get online!!!!!!

Morning all.

I've been since about 10:00am. Last night, I was up really upset. But I wont tell you why. I'm a secretive person. Also, I'm actually ashamed because it was childish. Does anyone know any really good music downloading programs? I need to get one. I had Kazaa, but it made my computer incredibly slow and lose a lot of memory. And it gets frustrating because this computer is pretty old and slow as it is.

2003-07-10T18:49:00.000-05:00

Listening to: Interpol- Obstacle 1

Eating: Nothing

Wishing: I could get a new hair cut

Hey everyone! My last post was kinda dumb. *sigh* waste of a post! I need a hair cut. I've grown bored of my same hair. I get bored with everything after a long while, except my friend and Austin (my boyfriend). I need a good change!!!

I seriously think I need a make over or something. Since school has been out, I look, um....well...beat up, tired, everything else bad, etc. etc. You know? *sigh*

Thursday Picks

Hey! You should check out Interpol! They're really good! And buy their cd "Turn on the bright lights! I heard "Obstacle 1" and I was like "Woah, cool!" :-) Yeah, so check them out!

2003-07-10T10:50:00.000-05:00

[Listening to] Taking Back Sunday- There's no "I" in team

[Eating] Nothing

Feeling Like I'm wasting away

Could anyone's summer BE more wasted than mine has? *sigh* I'm feeling tired. Ugh. Greeeat. Maybe I'm diabetic now. Eek! Hope not. Isn't that one of the symptoms?! *panics*

2003-07-09T16:54:00.000-05:00

Ok, so now that I got my comments thing to work, please leave some comments! I feel so alone! :-(

2003-07-09T11:26:00.000-05:00

Heyyyy!

Good afternoon, all! I'm on AIM right now, so if you'd like to talk or something, I/M me! Parisxnxflames8
!

I I/Med Austin, and he's not talking to me:-( No Answer or anything. *sigh* But I shouldn't over re-act because I dont
know for sure if he's really "Ignoring" me. But I can't help but feel a little heart broken and worried. That's my nature, and one of my personality disorders.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

See people? I bet if you take this, you'd be very suprised!

2003-07-08T15:19:00.000-05:00

I got a comments thingy! But I dont think it works :-(

[EDIT]

...It DOES work! ~~but it keeps sating "comments(0)"! :-(~~...nevermind! It works well! Thanks enetation.co.uk! :-)

2003-07-08T14:11:00.000-05:00

Hello hello hellooooooo!

Good afternoon, all! I wonder if anyone reads my blog at all. Oh well! If you do, then you can prove it by dropping a line on the "shoutbox"! The link is up there! ^^^

Bad Day!! Read On! >> Earlier today I got hungry. So, I went to the kitchen and picked up a bag of Ramen Noodles. Ok, so, I got the pot, put water in it, left it ont he stove to boil. I put a plate ontop of it because the pot had not top to it and putting a top on it makes it cook faster because the heat is trapped. Ok! So then I left it. I went into the living room to wait and watch TV. Then, I went up here, to the computer. I was here for about 30 minutes and smelled something. It smelled, of burning rock or something. "OMG!!!" I thought! I ran downstairs and turned off the stove as fast as I could. I grabbed an oven mit and a rag just in case the plate was really damn hott. I lifted the plate up, the water was gone. It burnt itself up. So then, I put the plate in the sink and ran it under cold water. I noticed the bottom of the plate was burnt! But then, the plate CRACKED right down the middle! I was like, "OH SHIT!" then I thought, "ok ok! Just throw it out, we've got millions of these plates!". So, I did. I threw it out into the garbage can outside. I came back in, it smelled like burnt still! So I opened the back door, and I tried to look for some smelly spray. But all I found was "Orange Kleen"! So I sprayed that everywhere. It kinda worked, but not really, so I went and did it over and over. SO, right now, the smell is pretty much gone. Hopefully my dad doesnt notice. I'll just say I burnt toast or something....

Lesson Learned

WATCH WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING!!!!!!

2003-07-07T12:01:00.000-05:00

avoidant

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-07T11:31:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon, folks!
Today is the same as yesterday, not much going on. My summer is pretty much boring.
But I learned a few things this summer, and I think I'll share them with you! Sound good? OK!

Things I learned Summer 2003
1.) Wishes DO come true if you wish with all your heart!
2.) I'm never taking another family vacation with my stupid family again.
3.) I need to sign up for some sort of summer activity next year.
4.) Death due to boredom is possible. (I.E) experimenting with strange sharp objects, explosives, etc., eating strange substances, suicide.
5.) ....that's pretty much it. I don't have a #5. Maybe I'll learn something new today and it'll take the #5 place or something.

.....yeeeeaahhh.....

Ok, well, whatever.

2003-07-06T22:47:00.000-05:00

I'm still up, and bored. *sigh*

2003-07-06T21:49:00.000-05:00

Ack! I hate Geocities! They suck!! And I hate my browser too! I HATE THEM! I'm trying to make a website, right? RIGHT! And my browser keeps acting up and Geocities never saves my stuff! I'm really really irritated!!! *Grr* I need to get DSL. My sister has it at her house. It's freaking FAST! Like "WHOOOOSH!" I was like "YEEE HAWW!" and I'm a computer addict, especially on the internet. And I spend more time on her computer when it's my mom's weekend that with my mom. And I feel bad for it but I can't help it! I'm addicted to the internet. Even though sometimes it can be a real pain in the ass! I know you know what I'm talking about!

2003-07-06T15:04:00.000-05:00

You represent... loneliness.
Always alone and always sad about it... unlike
angst, you don't have to look for a reason to
be miserable. You want to be in the company of
people but aren't sure how to act when you're
with them. Sometimes you have to make an
effort. You can't always wait for others to
come to you.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-07-06T13:47:00.000-05:00

Not much has been going on today. I just got this new blog.
I thought my other one was kinda gay, so I got this one.
I mean, come on! "Happy Lion"? It sounds like a
Chinese resturant! lol!

....Chinese is good, though...

But I'm a veggie! :-)

So, meat is a no-no for me!

I wonder if Austin is still sleeping? Austin is my boyfriend:-)

He sleeps pretty late. Like, yesterday he slept 'till 3 o' clock!
I always wake up around 9 or 10. I just got back from a terrible
vacation. We all complained, bitched, it rained, it was just pure
hell. I hate family vacations, so I made that one my last!

<3, Chloe

I thought that was hilarious, truthful, and really clever! ^ I got it from
yourchillin.com!

2003-07-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

Ok. I got a new blog! No more happyxlion crap-o!